Before I start with the list let me tell you what influenced me writing this today. I was at a club over the weekend when I saw this really huge, buffed dude walking around looking for someone or something; don't know. Later on that night, as the alcohol started kicking in, I saw Mr. Universe on the dance floor. I'll admit it the guy could move for someone his size. Here's the kicker, the DJ announced that the next song is for all the Single ladies in the club. To my surprise I saw 'Mr. I can break your neck with my pinky' laying a couple chick moves to the club version of Beyonce's Single Ladies. "Wow can this be real?" "But how, why...Why would he do that?" "Is he Gay?"
Now that you know where the motivation and influence stems from, lets go to the list. BTW this is no particular order, so please don't assume that it would be okay to sing to song 5 on the list since its "Not that gay."
1. Gloria Gaynor - I will Survive: No No No No No... this song is not meant for guys to sing, dance or even hum too. You can't sway, you can't tap your foot to the beat, you can't tap your fingers, palms or anything else to that beat. If your already on the dance floor with your partner and the song plays, boo the DJ and walkout.
2. Chaka Khan - I'm every Women: Do I really need to explain why dancing or singing to this song is not cool?
3. Beyonce Knowles - Single Ladies: Again not cool if your the guy on the dance floor fist pumping when you hear "If you like go ahead and put a ring on it" like you've just won. No mate, if you do that, you've lost......your balls. BTW why did Beyonce sing a song called Single ladies when she's married. Ahhh never mind.
4. PCD - Don't Ya: We all know how sexy Nicole Scherzinger is and it is totally a guy thing to drool over Nicole. But Hip-thrusting while making a "I got screwed in the ass" face, singing "Don't cha wish you girlfriend was hot like me" is not cool even if you replace girlfriend to boyfriend. Infact it would just look more gay than before. So don't ya dare
5. Fergies - Big girls don't cry: Firstly, that tittle is a lie. Big girls do cry, infact they cry and whine more than small girls. "Oh! Im too fat.", "You know what Marsha, from admin, said to me today?", "We don't talk anymore", "When we were dating our relationship was more fun, now that we are married life is boring, I'm fat, your ugly and your Mum's cooking sucks. I hate my life" and all of this followed by tears. So you see Big girls do cry.. ALOT and about EVERYTHING. So guys please don't sing just because it an outright lie that has no quantifiable and scientific proof and besides it would be gay to sing it.
So there you have it. The top 5 songs guys should NEVER SING or DANCE or KEEP BEAT too. What do you think? Comments anyone?
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